The Wasp and The Rat

I have a pet rat, most people say that he is gross and is contagious.
I agree.
I hate him,
I haven’t even given him a real name,
I just call him D.

I also have a wasp, while much less noticeable than D,
he is still just as horrible, I just call the wasp SA.

D and SA are always together.
No one wants D’s lack of motivation and disinterest.
I agree.
No one wants SA’s constant buzz and stings.
I agree.

D doesn’t let me go hardly anywhere,
he doesn’t want to spread his disease.
I agree.

SA doesn’t let me go anywhere because he doesn’t want to attack.
I agree.

They keep me from having any thing that could resemble a healthy social life.
I agree.
That’s probably for the best, they’re probably right.
They tell me that I only annoy people and that no one really wants me around.
I agree.

I don’t know when D and SA first came into my life,
but they tell me that they’ve always been with me.
I agree.
I desperately want to try wasp spray, or rat poison,
but D and SA just assure me that it wont do anything, and that they’ll always come back.
I hesitantly agree.

My life has become nothing but D and SA.
My life has become nothing but SA and D…
my life has become nothing but SAD.
But I do not agree.

No matter how much D sucks the motivation out of me.
I do not agree.
No matter how nervous SA makes me.
I do not agree.

I will not let them take over my life.
I do not agree.
I will not let them force me to reject medication.
I do not agree.
They try to make me think of my self as simply worthless.
But I do not agree….

I cannot agree.

Because I am terrified what will happen if I agree but mostly, I am terrified what I will do to myself if I do agree.
and with this…I agree.

-canIslytherin

Let’s Go Places

tacoma

On a cold day, in a gray house, in a well-lit room, in a good book,
I found you perched on couch cushions.
Desperate to add dog ears that mark places to revisit when you decide you want to change the world.

I looked at you. You looked at me.
You looked at our cat. I looked at our cat.
We looked at each other.
We gave off some strong signals that fell on the “let’s get out of here” frequency,
exited to our respective closets, met back at the front door, made out quickly, and bolted for the driveway.

You yelled “shotgun!” and made it to the passenger handle before me.
I let you win because I like looking at you looking at things.
I steal Polaroid glances while you observe our planet through a tinted window. 

Someday I am going to become an artist, just so I can paint your tears
as you watched that one sunset, on an open road, in a white truck, surrounded by mountains, melting into a Jethro Tull song.
“No man’s an island and his castle isn’t home,
The nest is for nothing when the bird has flown.”

Sometimes all you need is a look and an open road
to be a poet.
Late nights, headlights, and hairpin curves.
They drive us.
We let go of the steering wheel a long time ago.

I leaned over and whispered softly in her ear.
“Have you found what you are looking for?”
She replied with a quick shoulder raise.

Distracted by the sun’s fingers poking through redwood trees.

-Reese Weatherspoon

Stolen Kisses and Sleepless Nights

Stolen Kisses

I guess I’m a hypocrite for saying it’s hard to fall in love after heartbreak.
But the way we danced under the night sky made it hard not to fall

The stars filled your eyes as
You shared your hopes and dreams
We talked until our voices were hoarse and bright eyes drew weary
This sleepless night paved a path of trust
And I wondered
What’s it like to kiss an angel?

My patient angel
I am happy you waited
I took so long, and I’m sorry
While I was blinded by others, you felt long before me
You felt what it’s like to see your soul mate in love with a distraction
But the way she admired him so dearly
You decided to wait
And thank god you did

Now there’s no one else I would rather brave the cold with
Our breath is visible
Reminding me I’m still alive
With our backs to the ground
Minds in the sky
Our hearts find ways to dance with one another
While we manage to remain still
The night may be dark, but your eyes shine bright with wonder
And even with the universe above us, those eyes are all I ever want to see
Your hand placed in mine sends warmth
Radiating through the entirety of my mind and body
And my curiosity turns to pure passion

Stolen kisses in this sleepless night
I truly am a hypocrite now, aren’t I?

-Autumn Rose

Seeds

seeds

The robust blooms in your eyes
Flood into the deep gaping crevices in my soul
Leaving seeds to die
In the dark dank place

Dried like the vicious desert
Where cracked brittle leaves and grains of sand
Ferociously whip in thick swirling winds
Seeds find their way through the grime
Their first thought screamed

Survive

Those almond shaped emeralds
Blinked left and right
Surrounded by a sea of milk
The inner forest intensified

*Blink*

Pines catch flame
Flushing into the sea of milky white
Red tentacles
Devour the sea of crystalline
The almonds side peak
Burst with waterfalls
From the newly opened tear duct

Melancholy

Trickled down the walls
Of my inner canyon
Giving the soil exuberant spirit
Seeds frantically absorb the dampness

To be

Alive

-Green Fin

Old Sole

oldsole

Loose arms, back straight, drive legs
Pretend like you are holding the worlds smallest potato chip
Heel toe heel toe
Drown out screaming hamstrings with guitar strings

these headphones are never loud enough.

Come on, you just started you can’t quit yet.
Suck it up buttercup.
Heel toe heel toe
cold invading core
Inhaling stomach pins and chest needles

It’s a brisk one

I pass those same tracks where we spent our first days

The rails shine as our song plays.
It’s been thirteen Mays
Since I was your mason jar
And you filled me with light
That jar was made of glass
And You mishandled it.

It broke and the insects you were collecting shot toward heaven.
I can’t look at the night sky without the thought of firefly-stars that once burned bright for us.

But I press on
Heel toe…heel toe
Into my next memory.

That coffee shop looks barren tonight
As I make an observational lap around it
Remembering that time
I crushed caffeine, philosophy and nicotine
And tried to see the future.
I thought that a pen and faded notepad would save me
It did.

Palms sweating, heart racing
I dart in front of cars. real life frogger.
In this same spot. as a boy.
It was wet and my growing feet did not match my small frame
And that black Acura was the face of God.
How am I alive? And on a night like tonight. Far from the finish and close to caving. I understand living. It is the space between those heavy breaths.

Right foot aching
The cigar bar comes into focus on my left.
I cannot help but stare
Men whose lungs are smokestacks.
Back straight, head up, they exhale grey ghosts
They recount stories of the 1982 World Series.
They shake bloodstained hands and talk about connections.

While their wives sit waiting next to cold abandoned dinners.

That could have been me.

Heel toe heel toe, halfway mark
Start to end, now halfway back to start
Run consumed by recollection
I head back toward the same direction

I pass 6 orange hands telling me not to walk
the aroma of coffee grounds overtakes me again
In the black water window I see a silhouette of my former self
Crushing caffeine, nicotine and Carnegie
Setting goals, setting goals, setting goals
to fill my lungs with purpose
And scream freedom from those necktie dreams.

re-read that black ink which is actually my heartbeat.
Bold,
underlined. Wrong American Dream.

I never thought a pen and a faded notepad in a cafe could save my life
It did.
And just like my legs,
it took me from cigar bars and pant suits,
to coffee shops contemplating self worth.
We are worth it.
And sometimes it blindsides you at 9 p.m when you are fighting for that extra mile.
But I’m 12 in and surprisingly I have found my smile.

Left right left right, heel toe, heel toe
We keep running.
Not entirely sure exactly where,
But realizing that anywhere but here is somewhere
Because every step we recollect, is another step forward in retrospect.

Deep breath slow strides
Railroad finish lines

I’ve always hated trains because they never stray from their tracks.

-Reese Weatherspoon

happy.

happy

How beautiful, the way she admires you
As you trace circles with your thumb onto the palm of her hand
Like a feather, you calm her oh so gently

Another day she spends believing she was a fallen angel, and you were helping her fly again.
She loved the taste of your sweet words
Like a drug, you flooded her mind

Problems arose when you treated her as if the world was full of better angels, who wouldn’t waste your time with broken wings
She thought she was a freak

Post-traumatic, you abandoned her
Yet she still yearned to feel your touch even though she knew it would only burn
Like an addiction, she went through withdrawal.

Ripping off her finally healed wings, she swore to never try to fly again

Y
ou managed to break an already broken angel

And you wonder why she can’t be happy
-P. Nerd